This means his insides and outside don't match. He has the world
at his fingertips, but internally there is a little boy screaming for
help. His cry is, Please help me but he doesn't want anyone to get lose
to that inner wound. When a child is physically or mentally abandoned, a
very painful wound is created. Children are ego centric. This means
when a parent physically or mentally abandons them, the child
unfortunately blame themselves. Why aren't my parents paying attention
to me, what is wrong with me? A wound of
defectiveness develops. Even when the remaining parent meets their parental responsibility the child still feels devaluated when the other parent isn't physically or mentally there for them. When parents' divorce or separate it is important for them to keep reinforcing a message to their children that it's not their child's fault. Sometimes feelings of abandonment emerge when parents work all the time, not realizing the negative perception of self that the child is developing. If this wound isn't addressed and treated it may lay dormant waiting until the person is old enough to act out their pain. They may act out this pain by bullying, or addictions or act in this pain with depression or by isolation and becoming targets to bullies.
Generally the person, and their family, will try to deny or repress this wound, even manipulate the truth concerning this pain. Unfortunately they will pay a high price for this denial later in life. When the child becomes old enough to drink, drive, and do other things the need to medicate or distract this pain, through destructive actions, comes to fruition.
Justin Bieber needs to speak to someone who hears what he is NOT saying. When he finds this person he will do everything in his power to push them away, protecting that wound, not allowing anyone to get close. I know this because I was a successful business man, had the love of family, appeared to have everything, yet sabotaged my happiness. My problem was I had that feeling of defectiveness as well. I was a bully as a kid wanting to hurt others the way I was hurting inside.
What happened to me and what I believe is happening to Justin Bieber is the development of what I call "DESTRUCTIVE ENTITLEMENT", wanting the world to pay the bill for what happened to him in childhood. This is where the person gives themselves permission to do whatever they want regardless of the pain it causes themselves or others. All his money and power feeds into this destructive entitlement. Since this is an internal problem all the external remedies; money, power, and fame will not serve as a cure. Also, a person that has a wound of abandonment has a greater chance of finding the wrong people as friends feeding into the destructive attachments. They also begin to sabotage their intimacy with those who truly care for them. They either become too needy or they treat others as objects, fearing emotionally attachment because they don't want to be abandoned again.
He needs to fix what is broken inside of him. This brokenness can not be healed by money, power, or fame. Rather, he needs to take the hand of others who have walked before him. Those people who have learned how to manage this painful wound so that their wound doesn't guide them towards destructive behaviors. Those that hear what Justin Bieber is Not saying, Please make me whole, give me what I didn't receive as a child. I hope Justin Bieber finds those individuals in his life.
Thomas Gagliano MSW, Key note speaker, life mentor
Author of "The Problem Was Me", with Dr. Abraham Twerski
defectiveness develops. Even when the remaining parent meets their parental responsibility the child still feels devaluated when the other parent isn't physically or mentally there for them. When parents' divorce or separate it is important for them to keep reinforcing a message to their children that it's not their child's fault. Sometimes feelings of abandonment emerge when parents work all the time, not realizing the negative perception of self that the child is developing. If this wound isn't addressed and treated it may lay dormant waiting until the person is old enough to act out their pain. They may act out this pain by bullying, or addictions or act in this pain with depression or by isolation and becoming targets to bullies.
Generally the person, and their family, will try to deny or repress this wound, even manipulate the truth concerning this pain. Unfortunately they will pay a high price for this denial later in life. When the child becomes old enough to drink, drive, and do other things the need to medicate or distract this pain, through destructive actions, comes to fruition.
Justin Bieber needs to speak to someone who hears what he is NOT saying. When he finds this person he will do everything in his power to push them away, protecting that wound, not allowing anyone to get close. I know this because I was a successful business man, had the love of family, appeared to have everything, yet sabotaged my happiness. My problem was I had that feeling of defectiveness as well. I was a bully as a kid wanting to hurt others the way I was hurting inside.
What happened to me and what I believe is happening to Justin Bieber is the development of what I call "DESTRUCTIVE ENTITLEMENT", wanting the world to pay the bill for what happened to him in childhood. This is where the person gives themselves permission to do whatever they want regardless of the pain it causes themselves or others. All his money and power feeds into this destructive entitlement. Since this is an internal problem all the external remedies; money, power, and fame will not serve as a cure. Also, a person that has a wound of abandonment has a greater chance of finding the wrong people as friends feeding into the destructive attachments. They also begin to sabotage their intimacy with those who truly care for them. They either become too needy or they treat others as objects, fearing emotionally attachment because they don't want to be abandoned again.
He needs to fix what is broken inside of him. This brokenness can not be healed by money, power, or fame. Rather, he needs to take the hand of others who have walked before him. Those people who have learned how to manage this painful wound so that their wound doesn't guide them towards destructive behaviors. Those that hear what Justin Bieber is Not saying, Please make me whole, give me what I didn't receive as a child. I hope Justin Bieber finds those individuals in his life.
Thomas Gagliano MSW, Key note speaker, life mentor
Author of "The Problem Was Me", with Dr. Abraham Twerski
